Devolva-Me

I finally did it. Come home, I mean. And when I say "come home," I'm referring to my mental state. Physically speaking, I left India almost four weeks ago and England two weeks ago. But it was this morning when I woke up to an alarm clock, ate oatmeal for breakfast while Sitting, Waiting, Wishing repeated in my head, and changed clothes three times for a business meeting all without flinching that I truly returned. I can't say everything about the transition is positive, but I'm functional here, and that relieves quite a bit of anxiety.

Now to figure out what to do with the holes in my soul. That's the real danger of leaving home for anywhere else - you come back Swiss cheese, hundreds of bits of different sides of you knocked and beaten off, chiseled out, or scattered wherever you've been. Particles blowing around in other people's memories.

For some reason Swiss cheese sounds like a sad thing to be, but sad is definitely not an accurate description for any cheese. I wouldn't trade my hole-ridden soul for a South Indian Thali with a hot, crispy papadam. (And that's saying something.)

So coming home isn't bad and having holes isn't sad. And a double bed, brushing my teeth with tap water, and letters from far-away friends keep me happy...er, glad.



What am I up to? Here's the plan:

1. Learn to fix my hair again
2. Get some interviews out of my job applications
3. Finish painting my parent's kitchen
4. Give up chewing gum entirely
5. Seriously apply for grad school
6. Learn to play the organ
7. Run up an India-worthy sweat daily (that's a lot of running).

Some serious headway has taken place with number one - I cut my hair (as evidenced below). And I'm in the middle of painting the kitchen - hence the ladder in the picture. (Yes, this blog is an exercise in procrastination of all of the items in the above list.)




The job success and grad school applications definitely need more attention because nothing but frustration has cropped up thus far. Fortunately my 17 year old sister, Michelle, keeps me towing the line. Seeing a senior in high school with more of a life plan than myself provides tremendous motivation for the me to get a move on! Sometimes patience is only a virtue in India.